No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
