Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
