It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
