i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize