What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
