...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I did not marry a roomba.
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