and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
