im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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