She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize