She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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