so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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