I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
