god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
do nipples grow back?
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