we have pet lesbian snakes
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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