i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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