4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
