Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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