im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
