My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
