I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
