I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
