oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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