There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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