Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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