We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize