Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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