i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Michael Bay diarrhea
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need a beard to bite.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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