i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
