I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
