sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
