Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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