I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
