420 ftw
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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