I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
