Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
50% drunk capacity currently
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
