can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
