i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
