Tell her she can't have a vagina
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
