hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
