I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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