I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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