hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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