Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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