shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
