I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
