Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
