peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
