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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
