Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
