went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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