the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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