it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize