Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
