Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
