The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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