im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
