Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
