one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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