worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize